operation nighthawk

hello again! so, this will be my last post in i don't know how long. for the last 2 weeks i've been at base having lectures. the first week i had lectures on the fear of the Lord and that was good and convicting as far as asking ourselves questions on how we act and what we do if they're done in the fear of God. it was good in that we addressed some of the ways the guys are acting around the girls and if that's done in the fear of Him, if it's appropriate. same vice versa and we covered some other things like if the music on our ipods was bought or stolen, llike we didn't pay for it. alot of people ended up deleting alot of, if not all, their music off their ipods. last week we had our lectures on relatioonships, with other people and with the opposite sex. it was so good! our speaker was this pastor that lives in brisbane but he's from malaysia and he was funny but at the same time made some very good points on why guys and girls are different and how christians are different from non christians. very good overall. it was also good for the fact that i was dealing with some tough things from my past and from things going on currently and i talked to him about it. it helped to have someone listen, and the fact that he's a couselor helped. you see, i had this fear from way back when come up and for almost a week i had this immense fear of, well, guys. don't ask me how or why but i did and it made it hard to go to lectures or just hang out with my group. it came to the point to where i was trembling with fear because i was scared. bless my leader and one-on-one for they stuck with me and helped me. i wanted to tremble in fear before God, not GUYS! it's taken me what seems like a lifetime to push thru this but now i can at least talk to guys and be near them without feeling the need to run. this was really something that i needed His help in and He's gotten me so far. i love rising from the ashes because it gives me great pleasure to shove the enemy's face into the dirt and laughing my victoriuous laugh "bahahahaha!" ha ok, so maybe that was alittle too much, but that's what makes victory in Him so sweet ;)

so now this week is here and it's going by so fast!! we had lectures these last 2 days on the authority we have in Christ and how to use it. it was encouraging considering all that's going on. these days my days are filled with doing piles of homework our leaders gave us to finish before outreach, work duty (i'm the base director's assistent), and trying to do all the things i want to do before i leave. after our outreach meeting last week i'm actually excited about going to indonesia! but these last few days have made me stress out even more and i'm starting to wonder if i can finish it all. i know that this is the enemy attacking me and trying to discourage me and i;m trying to fight back as much as possible. i'm having some difficulties with my finances and today we were told that there were some things that cme up and we hve to pay an additional $500 towards our outreach fees. so needless to say i can see my team starting to get a bit stressed as well. but, it could be worse, and we've prayed about it and we're now just concentrating on getting in what we can.

today we also got some more news. one of the guys in my group, a student, told us in sydney that he was going to go to and felt God calling him to move to indonesia. so after dts he'll move there along with my leader and some more people from this base. but then today we got some more news. there's a training course going on in indonesia that preps people who are going to be "working" in islamic areas. this course will actually be in english, which happens rarely, and we were told today that this guy in my group won't be coming back with us from outreach, but will stay in indonesia and do the course training. that means he won't come back to brisbane and back home. so he's definately feeling ALOT of emotions and has alot of things to do and pray about. So our team has alot of things to think and pray about and just trying to stay sane is impossible.

in less than 48 hours i leave australia (thursday night for you guys back home) and i don't really know what to think. i have tons to do, i have alot of outreach funds to get in, and don't get me started on my room. lets' just say that our suitcases exploded and clothes are EVERYWHERE! but that's expected i guess ;)but thru all of this i am happy because even though it took me a loong time i'm finally at peace with the fact that i'm going and i'm also excited. right now my main focus is staying sane and keeping my team spirit up. sure, we're having some financial issues, but hey, this is outreach! it wouldn't be outreach without bumps and potholes and cliffs along the way. we're in His hands now and we have to prepare ourselves to trust Him with things that we can't control, especially in a foreign country.

i honestly don't know what else to say. there's a team leaving tomorrow morning for the solomon islands so we're saying our goodbyes tonight and possibly tomorrow. depends on if i want to get up that early. vanuatu, malaysia, and indonesia teams are leaving on friday so we're going to be running around like crazy tomorrow. wish me luck! i've really enjoyed being able to write to you, to keep you updated on what's going on. it actually helped keep me sane and it's cool looking back and seeing all that i've done and the way i've changed. i'm sorry for the fact that it's taken me so long to write to you, especially the last one. who knew i'd be on the road more than on base for over the last month. but anyway, it's been fun and i love hearing what you have to say about what i write. it's so encouraging to me!! when i write i feel like i'm just rambling and not making any sense whatsoever, and then next thing i know i get feedback that what i said was encouraging and really helped you. it's nice to know that someone can read my rambling :) i'll write when i can, but i won't promise anything. i love you sooooooooo much and thank you for all of your support! it's what's gotten me this far and it's about to take me so much farther. i'll miss talking to you, and if anything you can ask my mom what's going on :) keep me and my team in your prayers and we'll do our best to make you and God proud!

talk to you later!